Ok so first, let’s rewind: Over 2 years ago, I had a plane ticket to go visit my best friend in London. I was so excited. I love to travel; I love to get out of my routine and get a little uncomfortable; I love to see new things, practice new languages, taste new things, experience the world outside of what I know; I love the planning and the execution; I even love the saving and the days leading up that are usually a bit tense and overwhelming but full of positive anticipation. And to go to London to see my best friend and adventure partner extraordinaire - could it have been more perfect?!
Despite my love and need for travel, I had put it off for many years prior to that 2020 plan. The last trip I took prior to this London 2020 trip was a “work trip” in 2018 where I took a week off to travel through Israel with a group of “leaders in food” to look at how we can help the world and it’s myriad of complex problems through the lens of food. Although that trip was AMAZING, it was very tough to leave work for a week at that time in my business. I was a self employed business owner with a team of 1: me. I was the owner, the baker, the assistant baker, online order fulfilment, customer service rep, deliverer, and beyond. So going away for a week meant no income for a week+, it meant disruption, it meant annoyed customers and wholesale accounts, it meant stopping and then starting again. It basically meant a lot of uncomfortable stress. I also ended up coming home with Middle East Respiratory Syndrome or MERS COV and was out for another 5 days -HA!
So, back to February 2020, I clutched that ticket tightly, excited that I had saved and created space in my business to get away and do this trip. My fists clenched tighter and tighter as I watched the world start to react to this thing called the Coronavirus. My fists started to get real pale and my palms got sweaty and my ticket got wet with perspiration (trying to set a real mood here, y’all- I WAS SO NERVOUS) as Covid landed in the US and rapidly took over. I was a ball of anxiety on the phone with Delta; no one really able to tell me what to do or what was even happening because, well, we didn’t have those customer service cues quite rehearsed for a pandemic yet. My sweaty nervous palms unfurled and let go of my literal ticket and my figurative travel dreams as I realized none of us were going anywhere any time soon.
Fast forward 2 years and here we are. That same best friend was getting married in the GORGEOUS English countryside and I said “to hell and beyond!” with letting this travel moment or any other life opportunity pass me by anymore because of my work. To quote my other very wise beautiful best friend ‘Life is short and life is long,” you better make the time for the things you want before the time passes you up and don’t be a one trick work pony because that is very boring. The pandemic brought a lot of clarity for me in the experiences I want to have in my life; the things I don’t want to NOT DO because I find all the reasons not to as opposed to the ways I can do both. I love my work, literally LOVE it, but it’s not all of me and I don’t want to miss out on the richness of life and it’s experiences because I need to sell some $7.25 batards.
Like so many things in life, travel isn’t easy. It requires money, time, an interruption to daily life. It requires planning, saving, thought, and an awareness of the world that I think we all really need but have been lacking during the pandemic. It also requires knowing that things probably won’t go according to plan at all and you’re gonna have to deal; like the curious heinous itching skin rash that I can’t resolve or the luggage that decided it wanted to stay in America. And finally, and a big one for me, if you are a business owner or self employed, we open a whole new can of worms.
BUT the point of all of this, travel is worth it -it’s worth that can of worms: taking the time, making the plan, saving the money, leaving, taking the break, getting uncomfortable, things not going according to plan- if it’s what you love and NEED- go do it! And specifically to my food folks out there - DO IT and stop waiting because, like me, you will literally be waiting for the thing that’ll never come; more money or a better time lol literally those things will NEVER come. And then you’ll think ok, this is some good moment and a pandemic hits and you’re just like, well f*ck. Stop waiting. Traveling and experiencing the world is what makes you a better cook, a better baker: Ingredients, flavors, techniques, ideas, inspiration- preparing food is worldly and to understand it, you must get out into the world and immerse yourself. I sincerely implore you to do it sooner rather than later.
Also, a final point I want to make : to the people who have responded to my stories “must be nice!” or “wow, you must be rich!”… let’s unpack some things here: 1. Shame on you and shut up. It is nice and no I am not rich, but even if I was, why do you have to comment in such a toxic way. Our American GRIND culture SUCKS and no matter how many people seem to share stories or silly memes in the name of ‘self care,’ we still seem to struggle with this idea of taking a break and being happy when other people besides ourselves do pleasant things in life. WHY???? Literally, I am a baker. I make such little money, y’all, this trip has gone so outside my budget. I just stayed in laughably one of the most disgusting hotels ever. I have no clothes because my bag never even made it out of NYC. BUT, I made this thing happen for myself and there is nothing I need to say or do to convince anyone anywhere that I “DESERVE” this. I deserve this because I am a human who breaths air and desires a dynamic life outside of my job. I “DESERVE" this because I simply do, that’s it. Stop qualifying the things you want in your life and for the LOVE OF ALL THAT IS BEAUTIFUL, stop looking at other people’s lives and experiences and feeling any sort of need or impulse to compare or qualify theirs. It is literally so toxic and so American and now that I am European, I hope you stop. Live your life, do what you want, make it happen JUST BECAUSE. Sure, be responsible about it, but live that short long life as best as you can.
